


Thinking

by BlueVelvetHeart



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-07 13:21:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/748962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueVelvetHeart/pseuds/BlueVelvetHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>David thinks a lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a United fan so don't kill me if I get stuff wrong. I apologise for grammar and spelling mistakes.

Thinking  
David thinks. He thinks a lot. Sometimes it’s about his teammates and how annoying and funny they are, sometimes it’s about Spain and how he misses it, sometimes it’s about matches and what he could’ve done better but somehow most of the time he thinks of Iker. He doesn’t like to. He doesn’t want to. He’ll be sitting there thinking of something like the rain in Manchester and suddenly he’ll think about what Iker would do, what he would say or whether he would like it. He hates it.

Iker texts him. A lot. David never replies, he doesn’t want to make this something it’s not, to be something he’s not. He doesn’t want to be Iker’s friend, he wants to but he can’t because it would hurt more than not being his friends. The distance helps, it’s not David goes out of his way to avoid Iker or to ignore his texts. Sometimes he’s busy. Sometimes.  
They’re practicing penalties; its three weeks since everything went downhill. David’s not paying attention, he’s saved everyone’s and he’s thinking about how Iker would tease him if it went in. It wouldn’t. He’d be bruised, battered, black and blue but he wouldn’t let a goal in. It would piss Iker off but David always knew how to get round him. Robin’s placing the ball on the spot and yells some Dutch or some English maybe, David’s not really sure .He’s looking at the clouds. Iker hated the clouds, blocked the sun and according to him, he got an angelic glow when the sun was on him. David snorted so did the rest of the team at that. Robin shoots the ball at his face, dragging him away from his memories. Everyone laughs except Javier who’ frowning slightly. David doesn’t know if that’s because Robin scored or because he knows what he’s thinking.  
Javier, Robin, Vidic and Rio know about Iker. He told Javier and Robin when he was drunk, he didn’t mean to it just slipped out. Vidic asked if anything was wrong, David doesn’t and never will like Vidic when he’s being all captainy, and David told him because he was tired of lying to himself; Rio just happened to be there.  
“Thinking about Miniman?”  
Robin sneers, hands on his hips. Javier frowns even more, Rio looks like trying to hold back a smirk; Vidic is busy chatting to Welbeck. David really needs to get better friends. He hates it when people make fun of Iker, just cause he’s a bit smaller than some, just because they’re not friends doesn’t mean David can’t stand up for him. They were teammates once. More than friends and teammates once. David doesn’t know what’s worse that he wants to punch Robin and he’s so close to or whether Javier does. Javier just walks up to Robin and punches him, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Nobody’s laughing, smirking. Everyone just stands there and Javier hisses some words in Robin’s ear before walking off. Nobody moves, Robin’s face is twisted in confusion and regret. Robin shrugs before waving his hand dismissively and taking another shot. David saves it.  
David finds Javier sitting on a bench in the changing rooms. Everyone’s left, it’s just them.  
“Why?” David asks simply.  
“He’s an ass.” Javier replies with his thick accent that makes it hard to understand but David’s become used to it.  
“That’s Robin though.”  
Javier just sighs, shaking his head like David doesn’t understand. David doesn’t.  
“More than usual. He ignores me.” Javier blurts out in a sad voice; David’s sure nobody’s heard this voice. Nobody’s probably seen this side of him.  
“Why?”Javier whispers, that’s when David knows he loves Robin and Robin’s been leading Javier along. He doesn’t know how he knows; it just seems the most logical explanation. David can’t do much but pat Javier on the back and tell him everything will be okay. He hopes he hasn’t been leading Iker along. Or worse, Iker’s leading him along.

Robin doesn’t show up to training. Javier looks deflated. David wishes he could help them.

Iker texts him. It’s not long but it’s not short. David doesn’t read it; he gets what Iker’s saying. Iker misses him. David doesn’t reply as usual. He just thinks about it, a lot of the time. But when he’s skipping through the channels and sees Athletic Bilbao playing, he switches channels and watches it. They win. Iker doesn’t score though.  
Robin turns up to training. Javier’s mood stays the same till Robin goes over to him. No one notices. Except David, he’s not watching intently but he keeps glancing in case there are any sudden movements. He’s pretending to listen to Ashley talk about some girl. Or maybe it’s Danny.  
He’s training with the goalie coach, he couldn’t be bothered learning his name, when Javier walks away. He doesn’t look as depressed and deflated but his face is unreadable. David looks at Robin, he just turns away. David sighs and catches the ball as the coach yells at him for not paying attention. But David’s not paying attention, he’s thinking about how Iker would giggle at being yelled at.  
It’s 2AM. David can’t sleep. He’s tried everything. Warm milk, soft music, watching telly, reading. None of its worked. So he’s just lying in bed, thinking. His phone rings, he knows who it is by the cheesy Spanish song that’s blasting around his room. He answers it;  
“Hola David.” Iker mumbles in a sleepy voice,  
David doesn’t react. He just stills. He doesn’t know what to do, what to say, how to act. He’s spent so long avoiding Iker, ignoring Iker that he’s almost forgotten how to be around Iker. Almost.  
“If you are drunk in Finland again, then go away. I saved your ass once. Once.” David replies in a serious tone but he knows Iker can tell he’s smiling.  
“Dude that was one time. You know it was a dare!” Iker fires and David’s missed this. The banter, as Rooney says, and teasing. His heart hurts.  
“Yeah. Yeah.” David laughs, looking out of his window that is by his bed. He never closes the curtains or he’d never wake up. A habit he picked up from Iker. An awkward silence settles between them. A moment passes.  
“Why did you ring me?” David asks, staring dreamily at the lights dotted around Manchester. It’s nice at night. It’s quiet. Iker would like this, he loved bright lights. Something about one day his name would be in lights and David’s would be down with the Dinosaurs. In the history books for later but Iker would be now.  
“I missed your voice.” Iker states, in a slightly patronizing tone. David sighs; it’s too late for him to be dealing with this. He’s not prepared. Not like he would ever be. He’s about to open his mouth and come out with something, he has no idea what, when he hears a voice. A sleepy voice. He doesn’t know the voice, it doesn’t sound familiar. He doesn’t know what they’re saying and doesn’t want to as he notes the low sensual tone. David tenses up.  
“Who’s that?” He asks in a light tone, trying to hide his discomfort. Iker doesn’t buy it, he’s not stupid. Just young, like David.  
“Eh it’s Ander.” Iker says dismissively. David frowns and suddenly feels a surge of anger and jealously that rises through his chest. He feels cheated, betrayed. As much as he avoided Iker and ignored him, he always thought….  
He fell too deep. Far too deep and now he can’t get out.  
“Didn’t know you slept around. Especially with teammates.” David snaps, jealously creeping through his voice. He can almost taste it. He doesn’t give Iker time to reply or say anything he throws the phone across the room. It lands on that rug Torres bought him, a welcome to England gift, with a dull thud that David can just hear. He plants his head on the pillow and his last thought before he goes to sleep is how Iker would hate the carpet. It’s too dark.

 

David goes to training despite his mood. He’s glaring at anyone who dares look at him. He changes quickly. He wants this to be over soon so he can fall apart in private.  
He avoids them all, even Javier who seems much happier. He’s glad someone is; as long as that someone isn’t Iker. As much as he loves Iker, David thinks is the first time he’s admitted to himself that he loves Iker, he wants him to feel his pain. He wants Iker to know his pain. Javier and Robin try to get his attention, even the Japanese kid who still can’t speak English properly. He just looks ahead, practices with the coach who is yelling at him for some stupid reason, saves their shots and thinks of how he hasn’t thought of Iker. Not properly.  
It shouldn’t hurt. Not this much. It’s like even more weight was in his shoulders but he doesn’t regret it. He hopes maybe Iker understands. Then again David’s the understanding one, maybe Iker can learn to.  
The texts stop. Nothing. It’s like they never knew each other. Both forgotten memories to the other. He feels empty.  
He feels old. Older than he should. Maybe it’s the responsibility. Maybe it’s because the only way he could tell his days apart was the texts Iker sent him. He doesn’t think it’s that, he doesn’t want to think it’s that. He wants it to be responsibility so he can’t blame himself. But it always comes back to that. Him and Iker. Always. He wants this endless saga of self pity to end. But that’s getting less likely. 

 

His reflexes get sharper; he hasn’t been sleeping for as long as he should. He’s been thinking. Maybe over thinking. He doesn’t know the difference anymore because maybe he always over thought and he just over thought himself over thinking.  
He knows they care. They ask if he’s okay, he tells them yes of course. Most of them buy it, Vidic and Rio don’t care anymore they’re keeping as a small fact in their minds, Javier doesn’t, Robin just shrugs and throws his arm around Javier’s shoulders. David smiles slightly, he’s happy a little. He’s happy that Javier’s happy. David wishes he could feel happy for himself.

 

They’re doing a tour of Asia. They’ve got lots of fans there, according to Fergie, though David doesn’t believe that. David’s rooming with Robin, he wonders why Robin, why not Javier or Anderson; Him and Anderson are kind of friends. Maybe. He just can’t stand Robin sometimes, he’ so annoying and he just doesn’t know when to stop. Everyone has a limit and Robin likes to push them over, he reminds David a lot of Iker. He’s not thinking about it now but he was. A lot.  
David’s reading a book his mother sent him awhile back that he never got round to reading, Robin’s texting someone. David gets to the end of the second page of the second chapter when Robin bounces on to his bed, the bed dips down.  
“Do you think about him a lot?” Robin asks after a few moments, his voice is cautious. David grunts, he’s not the mood, the character is whiny and stupid, she has no idea he’s leading her along and now he has Robin asking him questions about his ex friend-boyfriend-lover-teammate. Robin fiddles with the edge of the covers, he’s pulling it up and rubbing a loosen piece of string hanging of the cheap fabric between his forefinger and thumb.  
“I think about Javi a lot.” Robin announces in a quiet voice. David turns to face him but Robin’s attention is focused on the loose piece of string.  
“Is that bad?” Robin asks, his voice sounds so young and naïve (even though he’s older than David). David winces, why does everyone open up to him? He doesn’t understand, he can’t speak good English, he doesn’t really care either. He honestly tries but he just can’t because he’s confused about what to do about his on love life. David shrugs and wants to say as long as you don’t’ over think you’ll be fine but Robin’s phone buzzes. The conversation’s ended the moment is gone and David regrets not telling Robin because he doesn’t want people to make the same mistakes as him. 

He acts older than he is. Older than he should. David doesn’t know why, maybe it’s because he’s a goalie. That’s a big responsibility, although defenders are to blame too but the goalie gets all the stick and honestly sometimes David thinks he could’ve been anything but he’s a goalie. He has to order his defenders around, tell them where to be, who to watch for like a mother. He feels old, feels like he has lived several lifetimes all at once. It’s not in his nature to be young; he drinks and parties of course but not like other footballers. He thinks it might be a goalie thing since all the outfield players act young like they’ve got all the time in the world. Like Robin and Iker.  
They play the Asian team, David can’t pronounce it and with his accent it sounds even worse, they win. Robin scores and hugs Javier before grinning at David. David shakes his head, smiling slightly. Iker would do the same.

 

He’s on the plane to another place in Asia, he’s on a plane. This time instead of Robin, he has Javier. They both sit there, David’s nearly finished that book his mother sent him and Javier’s turning round whispering to Rooney and Ashley or playing some game on his Iphone. David’s pretty sure they’re going to the furthest place from where they just were because they’ve been on the plane for a long time. Although when he checks his watch, it’s only been an hour. David sighs, he has too much on his mind he needs a distraction.  
“How are you and Robin?” David asks, twisting and turning in his seat to get a better view of Javier, Javier smiles. It lights up their compartment.  
“Great.” He answers; his eyes have gone all dreamy. David knows that feeling; Iker does it whenever he’s talking to David or about David to people (according to Oriol back when he was on the team with David). David smiles tightly, his hearts hurting. He wants to have feelings like that. Feelings of love but he can’t because he can’t handle his feelings and Iker is oblivious to what’s going on inside David’s head. Javier’s looking at him, his happiness still there but concern as well. David knows what’s coming and sometimes he wishes people didn’t care about him.  
“You should speak to him.” Javier says, he’s looking intensely at David. David looks out the window instead of meeting Javier’s gaze.  
“David, you can’t avoid him forever. You cannot hide your feelings. Or get rid of them. You know that.” Javier hisses quietly and David’s angry. He’s angry at people telling him what to do, telling him things he already knows. He knows all this stuff and he’s fucking bored of it. People don’t know him, they don’t know what he’s thinking, what he feels.  
“You don’t think I know that. I know okay? I’m not dumb, I’m not stupid. I know it more than you think. I’ve heard it too many times. I get that I’m trying to avoid him, that I’m ignoring him and it’s not making anything better.” David snaps. Sadness and guilt wash over him when he sees Javier’s disappointed reaction;  
“I just… I just messed up it all up.” David states and Javier understands even though he doesn’t, he pats David on the back sympathetically.  
David’s heart feels lighter but his conscious is heavier.  
The rest of the flight David finishes the book. It reminds him too much of his own life, books shouldn’t do that. Books are supposed to distract you from life not make you dwell on your problems. As bad and as much as the book defies all the laws books are written by, it changes David’s perspective. Just a little.  
David wakes up o the floor, Javier’s smiling at him. They must’ve just landed because everyone is yawning and popping their ears.  
“We’re in China!” Rafael announces loudly, folding his map up like an excited tourist. Everyone laughs, even Fergie cracks a smile.  
They get their luggage together, it takes a long time because Danny decides that some poor little boy has his suitcase, then head down to ‘the best hotel money can buy in China’; David doesn’t believe this one bit, considering none of them have been inside or been to this part of China. He only believes what he sees. Maybe that’s his flaw.  
David’s rooming with Javier when his phone plays cheesy Spanish music for the first time in months. David ignores it, Javier looks at the phone curiously, and the music keeps playing. Javier looks at David expectantly. David shrugs and glances at the caller ID. He changed his number. He joined a different network. How in the world as Iker got his number?  
Javier answers it and David wants the ground to swallow him up.  
“Hello.” Javier says in a slow voice, David smirks; Iker hates being belittled. He can hear Iker babbling away in English that’s very broken. Javier’s face is twisted in slight confusion but David thinks he understands most of what Iker is saying.  
“So you are the Iker? The Iker David is utterl-“  
Javier begins to babble but is cut off by David’s glare and the fact David snatched the phone out of his hands.  
“What do you want?” David asks impatiently, he’s bored of these games. This game especially. He and Iker have a fight and then Iker rings him up a few months later acting as if everything is okay. David’s not okay; he’s too in love with someone who doesn’t even think about him once.  
“Hola to you too” Iker replies quietly, David doesn’t feel bad for snapping or being impatient because he has no reason to be. David rolls his eyes, he wants this over now.  
“Iker.”  
“David.”  
Iker’s voice is so soft and calm, it surprises David but it doesn’t hurt David like it might have done a few months back. He knows people always have two sides and he’s always known Iker has this side but he never paid attention to it because it was before David moved. And before David moved, David didn’t think he loved Iker but once he was away, in a different country, not just a drive away, once it cost them to speak to each other (Even though David signed for Man Utd his mother always told him to be careful with his money and he didn’t trust himself not to spend too much time listening to Iker’s voice), it hurt.  
“What?” He asks sharply, Javier hits him on the shoulder. He doesn’t mean for it to come out like that but it does and he can’t take it back. A moment passes.  
“I hear you’re in China.” Iker says stating the obvious; David can tell there’s more so he doesn’t waste his breath with a sarcastic comment,  
“I wish you here. With me. I miss you, David. I’ve missed you everyday you’ve been gone. I know I hurt you by sleeping with Ander and honestly I regret it. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was lonely and drunk. It just happened but the thing is. The real important thing is I love you. I love you a hell of a more lot than you think.”  
David’s not prepared for so much emotion at once. Iker’s voice was lace with such regret, sorrow and love that David feels like an ass. He hates himself. Javier’s smiling like an idiot. He forgets Iker’s on the phone for a moment before snapping out of his daze.  
“I love you too.” David whispers and he can hear Iker let out a sigh of relief and he laughs. All his worries are washed away and for once he’s happy. Truly happy. He’s got the biggest smile on his face. David has to end the call then because his heart hurts. His hearts from too much love.

 

They play the Chinese team, David honestly doesn’t care who they care and he doesn’t actually know; everyone says they do but David and Javier are pretty sure they don’t. They lose. 2-1. It’s Iker’s fault, making David love drunk.  
Iker is all he thinks about that night.

‘You made me lose.’- Is the text David sends to Iker just before he goes to sleep. David not sure what he’s lost; his heart, mind or sanity to Iker. But he knows Iker has his heart.


End file.
